Give 'Em Hell, Kid

We're very angry today. Livid, livid.

We were rudely interrupted from listening to Fairport Convention's Who Knows Where the Time Goes? by the arrival of our landlord. Our relationship with him has changed over the year. Initially, we warmed to the man but this was ruined by an unpleasant incident on January 20th which involved him explaining to us the exact procedure for lowering the bathroom ceiling FOUR TIMES. Unfortunately the first three times there was a failure on our part to comprehend the situation, a failure clearly evident to him by our glazed expressions.

You can imagine how angry we've been since, when he has attempted to call us. As we now ignore our phones when we see his name, he is forced to turn up unannounced. Today was one of these days when he cruelly came to open our window for us.

We felt like this:

 El Lissitzky's Beat the Whites with the Red Wedge - 1919.

Obviously he assumed the position of the Red Wedge and us, the white circle.

We had to do what we always do when we are this riled up. We got out our letter-of-complaint template to the BBC. We're going to share this with you in case anything has made you angry recently:

We've thought of some instances when you might need to use this letter template:

• When your clip-art is stretched and you don't notice until you've printed out all the documents.
• To complain about the offensive, orange pudding on the Iceland Christmas advert.

• When you realise Rupert Eyles has ruined every song/poem/name by introducing 'proverbial' into your vocabulary:
  
  The answer my friend, is blowing in the proverbial, the answer is blowing in the proverbial
  
  

          O What can ail thee, knight-at-arms
           Alone and proverbially loitering?

• When a 30-something with Cath Kidston-clad children gets out their Amazon kindle.
• When your Spring centre-piece doesn't come together as planned.
• When your graphics program, Paint, fails to co-operate with you on your latest design.

Some people don't go through the BBC for their complaints. Some people write straight to the person who has offended them! Consider this instance when a lady, Jani da Silva, complained directly to us.

One of us had commented on a couple of BBC newsreader George Alagiah's photos:

 

Jani Da Silva was offended by some of these comments. Look how she took action:

 

Tenacious, isn't she?

Then, THIS:

As you can see, things can get vicious if you don't go through the BBC, like we do. If she had followed our BBC template the situation wouldn't have got so out-of-hand!

Make sure, next time you're angry you follow our advice.

Ciao Ciao (Miao Miao}
xxx