What We Did On Our Holidays

Any fans of Katie and Stella With Bells On will know that we often discuss our ongoing struggle with Time/Thyme.

As you know, it makes us feel like this:

Michelangelo's Tomb in Santa Croce, Florence - 1570

Fear not friends, this will be a joyful travel blog entry. We've just returned from a week in Florence, where Time/Thyme was irrelevant. Our motive was to research art and culture, and make a few vineyard property viewings.

With Bells On - Location! Location! Location! - 2013 

What's your motive for travelling abroad?

Whatever your reasons for travelling, we will show you how to behave, and deal with life in foreign lands.

Organisation

• Use a weight measure to make sure you reach the target weight set by your aeroplane company. 

We had a last minute panic the night before when we found we only had 16kg in our suitcase. Here we are selecting brass objects to bring us up to the set weight.

Suitcase with Punch and Judy - 2013

To help with the logistics of completing every task on your trip, it is a good idea to make a detailed itinerary.

Think ahead. Keep all months in your diary.

Unfortunately, before planning our holiday we had ripped out 'February' from the cat diary, as we had deemed it a dull month. 

If this does happen to you, use the next available month. 

We may encounter problems with Time/Thyme in March:

The Itinerary: February - 2013

• Don't forget the adapter for your electrical appliances.

Exposed Wire - 2013

Meeting people on holiday – How to deal with it

Make sure you go along with anything your tour guide suggests.

Our tour guide Giuseppe suggested 'let's do some touching'

Here we are going along with it!

Katie, Giuseppe, Stella, Christiano - 2013

When you make a new friend in another country, it's a good idea to tell them a lie.

Take this for example: in a conversation about slang words for being drunk, we implied that 'fisted' can mean 'extremely pissed'.

It worked surprisingly well:

 Come Uno Zombie - 2013

Be careful when you make friends abroad. With another new friend, asking a simple question brought shocking results:

Italian Tenacity - 2013

We've also been asked some unusual questions in this foreign sojourn:

• You say you're here to study art, but why are you always drunk?
• Is everyone getting fisted tonight?
• What the fuck are you doing with my husband?

Italian Culture - How to appreciate it

I Mafiosi

• Receive compliments graciously, he probably has Mafia connections. Here's one we encountered: 'You smell like a bullet from a freshly shot gun...it reminds me of my childhood'.

• When drinks are sent to your table, accept them graciously too.

Cin Cin Puttanesca - 2013

Looking at Art

We studied Art History. We will show you a system we've developed for critiquing art.

Would you rather shag, marry, or shoot?

Zephyr from the Primavera - Botticelli - 1482

Jesus from The Last Supper - Leonardo da Vinci - 1498

David - Michelangelo - 1504

 Did you choose correctly?

The answers are:

Shag: Zephyr because he's weird, elusive and can probably do some crazy shit.
Marry: Jesus because he's got nice hair, great body and seems like a good man.
Shoot: David because he is too big.

Food

Make sure you sample the produce the country has to offer. 

Ciao Simon - 2013

The Rat What Turned Into Peter Pettigrew - 2013

Freaky Fries and Kinder Bueno; Fueling Up Before Round 2 with the Naked Dutch Lady - 2013

Going Home – how to do it.

We acquired some new items on our holiday.

Unfortunately this meant that to keep our weight limit at exactly 20kg, we had to discard some non-essentials.

What We Lost - 2013

What We Gained - 2013

 1 medieval tapestry, 1 Madonna calendar, 1 fox, 2 Hail Mary necklaces, and 1.25kg of penis pasta. 

Cazzo! - 2013

Arrivederci!

Send us a postcard. We will be happy to solve any of your holiday problems. Or Art Historical shag/marry/shoot dilemmas.

Ciao Ciao Miao Miao
xxx

With Bells On - Getting Fisted on the Blob Dancefloor - 2013